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ni muka stayback aku,haa hari-hari aku stayback kot

 Assalamualaikum dan heeeeeyyy, k aku dah terlepas 2 post so aku minta maaaaaaf banyak-banyak k. Aku memang terlampau busy sekarang ni,juggling with being a final year student,jadi anak yang solehah dan seorang yang sihat wal afiat (perghh ayat hang).

Post ni kira tak berapa serious dan formal,cuma nak bagitahu kondisi je ahaha. Takdak ah,aku punya post banyak dekat draft sebab aku akan tulis separuh dan tiba tiba lecturer aku masuk bagitahu ada presentation,mengajaq la jadi semuanya tergendala. Ni pun aku curi-curi masa nak tulis post.

Kalau kira,aku ada banyak topik yang agak berat nak bagitahu,discuss dll tapi disebabkan aku pun takdak mood nak serious jadi aku hanya menulis secara santai. Walaupun muka kat atas macam nak bagi makan penampaq pasai aku tak cukup tidoq .

Lately aku banyak tertekan juga la. Aku rasa macam loser kot,like awat hang tak reti buat ni ? awat orang lain buat macam senang ja ? awat dan awat?

Last-last aku rasa loser gilaaaa haha dan aku rasa macam "k hang ni banyak bagi alasan la nan,buat je la"

Aku rasa,orang yang aku kagum pun sebenarnya loser,tapi kurang la pasai depa ni tak focus dekat ke loser an depa,they just focus on how to improvise themselves.

Actually, kita ada banyak opportunity untuk improvise diri,untuk bantu diri,untuk tolong diri sendiri. Tapi kita selalu tengok orang,last last kita tergendala pasal kita sibuk pasal life orang. Awat kita perlu rasa insecure? awat kita kena rasa macam loser ? 

haa jawab ah nan 

emmm ....

k post ni akan dibiarkan tergantung,pasai aku nak pikir nak jawab apa dengan diri sendiri.Plus aku nak sambung assignment aku balik.

Bai dan assalamualaikum

nananananana ganu kiterrr

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hang rasa ??

 Assalamualaikum and hey a good night to all of you. Masa aku tulis ni,aku dalam keadaan barai pasal esok presentation dan mata aku naik kuyu jadi aku saja tulis dalam bahasa untuk mengelakkan aku merapu masa menulis .

Btw,tajuk tu memang antara soalan hot yang aku selalu dapat. And tbh,aku pun sampai sekarang takleh figure out amende aku buat ni weh. Serious kot,aku rasa macam aku diawang awangan kot. Dah nak masuk 4 tahun still aku was-was tentang bendalah apa aku amik ni.

Nak dijadikan cerita, aku asalnya nak buat vlog tajuk Common Question orang tanya pasal K Academy,tapi pasal aku malaih nak membebel jadi aku decide untuk menulis. Dan jawapan diatas persoalan anda ialah

Aku buat VFX ( sebutan ialah vi ef ex ). 

Apa itu VFX? Haaa VFX ni nama melayu dia kesan khas visual. Kadang aku malaih nak sembang panjang aku akan cakap "ala yang buat api muncul tu" padahal buat api dalam 2% je weh, selebihnya aku buat apa pun taktau.

Bila masuk sini,expectation orang of course la aku amik bidang nyanyian dan lakonan. Tapi dia ni  tau dak yang suara aku ni off pitch dan lakonan aku kayu. Hareyy betul kalau aku dapat masuk bidang tu. Aku tukar nama aku jadi Hanan Delicious la gitu ( perghh macam nama kedai bakery ). 

Kerja VFX ni merangkumi rotoscope,masking,compositing,key framing dan ahh macam macam la.Basically kitorang ni budak belakang tabir je. Nama pun muncul dekat credit dah nak habis je weh. Tapi still bangga la,tanpa kitorang manader kau nampak efek efek marvelous tu.

Kalau sembang VFX ni, antara syarikat filming dekat Malaysia yang famous ialah Viper Studio ,KRU Studio dan Pinewood Iskandar dekat Johor tu. Yang lain ada je cuma biasa biasa la tapi payah woi vfx ni .

Aku rasa kalau kau cakap apa sebenarnya aku buat dekat sini ialah berkemungkinan aku nangis je weh haha.Pasal mengenangkan idea yang tak kunjung tiba,skill yang kelaut dan diri yang sebenarnya tak berapa minat. Tapi life is life,at least aku kena sudahkan benda yang aku dah mula kan?

Jadi,kat atas tu gambar green screen yang aku probably kena tracking,keylight dll lagi la.Kerja nampak mudah tapi kalau hang terror blending memang superb la weh orang ingat betul. Tapi nak jadikan blending macam real tu yang makan masa.Ada masa laptop hang,ada masa blue screen,ada masa black screen tak kesudah pun ada. Ada sekali aku render 3d dalam 5 saat je makan 1 minggu tak tutup laptop last-last minggu depan laptop tu arwah KO weh.LOL laptop pun giveup dengan vfx  apatah lagi aku yang hamba Tuhan bukan manusia ni (apa kaitan?)

So konklusinya apa yang hang buat ni nan? jawapanya ialah aku pun still figure it out sampai sekarang. Tapi at least jawapan vfx tu pun dah okay kot. KOT la kan lol.

So anyway,aku kena sambung balik buat offline editing pasal esok aku ada presentation.Doakan aku lulus tak gugup tak nangis insyaAllah

sekian syarahan malam ini

nan
first time berbahasa di sini,selalu berspeaking 

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my friend. not a demon. but as a zombie XD


Right now, I'm currently hear a song entitled Demon by Imagine Dragon. And as I am listen to it, I can't help but being stuck into one of their verse which is


It's where my demons hide

I keep thinking about that one verse and as I ponder into it, I keep thinking about my own 'demon'. Well, we all have a demon in ourselves right? So how can you maintain it from be known to others? How can one hide their demon? How?

I used to have a demon that I kept it tight. And one day, that demon broke the 'place' where I kept it hidden. I remember at that moment, I know that I'm not Hanan that people used to know. Even I myself don't recognize myself. I probably hallucinated myself,thinking that I am the 'real' Hanan while in fact, I am not.

I am a demon. And that demon is myself.

I struggled to fight with myself. Day by day it's all or nothing . I keep being a demon until one day,people manage to kept hold of me,and that moment turns me into the new me. They manage to kept the demon shut, and at that time I am so lost. I lost

That feeling of lost makes me completely turns into Him. And  yeah, with His guidance, I manage to turn myself into a better me. Not a new me. A better me.

And that demon? Well it's still there. Waiting for the day to escape from its 'room' again. And I know,sometimes I lose my battle with my it,but most of the time I win. I manage to control the demon. I manage to control it from making people hurts,making mum's cry,making dad's about to lose control

And from making myself an uncontrollable demon. That kind of demon who'll turn myself into not whom I suppose to be.

So yeah, let me know if you had a 'demon'in yourself ( which I know we all have ) and how you manage to keep it hidden or at least,not being able to lose your control over it.

hanhanan
a human .
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'difficult road lead us to the beautiful destination? well not all :P'

4 years almost passed and this year will mark my last year studying at K’s college. I couldn’t believe it myself when I first started out at this college. I mean, I never parted sooooooo far away from abah,ibu and especially my bro. Usually, we’ll attended the same school for as long as we were born so being separated does makes  a lot of difference .

I remember my first ‘mehnah’ ( test ) when I first came to the college. My uncle’s car broke down, my mum couldn’t make it ( she needs to take care of my bro ) and… I missed her a lot !. I had a hard time to adjusted myself with the new routine . To make it worse, I never been to Cyberjaya. I never knew what it was to live there. What it Putrajaya Sentral ? Where can I go and buy my junks? How to go to KLIA and so on .

               It took me around 1 year that I can become comfortable going out by myself. Usually, my aunt will accompany me but I thought that it must be hard on her so I decided to be independent…for the first time in my life. Like really, INDEPENDENT .


alone

               I learn to go to the KLIA by taking the KLIA express. I learn to ASK PEOPLE when I don’t know certain roads . I learn to buy clothes by myself without having mum to judge or idk maybe compliment me. I learn to accepted that it’s OKAY to be alone. And most of all, I learn to be independent with Allah. Our protector .

               I remember that I used to freaked out whenever I get on the wrong bus or station. I remember that I used to almost cried when the lane to check in is sooo freaking long ( and then I baru tahu ada self check in lol ). I remember that I used to be scared of big city, KLIA2 and lots of people ( actually right now I still does but I do a lot of tawakkal to a’la Allah ) .

               And it all because whenever I hit a hard road, I always thought that nothing is more difficult than taking care of my bro. Because taking care of him needs a lot of mental and physical strength that I find it exhausting to do so. I’m not lying that until now, mum and me sometimes argue a  lot because we’re so damn tired to take care of my bro. I’m not going to fake it and do some inspiration post like “ My brother gives me strength yada yada “. I’m telling you the truth that it’s not OKAY and my brother take away more of my strength than giving it XD. But because of his  condition that makes me able to become stronger and able to independent . So he does gives a bit of strength, but also takes a lot from it (give and take aha ).

               Next thing is don’t be panic.  I remember last 2 night, I called my mum and said “ Ibu, Hanan takdi g Wangsa Maju lepah gi klinik ( Ibu, Hanan goes to Wangsa Maju after went to the clinic ) and my mum was “freeaaaak oooout’ you know. Like “ bertuah anak ibu (my lucky daughter *lol direct translate*) . My mum was freaked out because 1. I never went thaaaat far and 2. I’m going alone . So rest assure nothing happened alhamdulillah although I do get a bit panicked but I always think that I went to this place lillahita’ala so I hope that Allah will protected me InsyaAllah. I tried not to think hard and just ‘redah je la’. BUT before I redah je la,I always checked out that location , I don’t simply redah je la and don’t know where to go okay. I had my own PLAN and I went to that place according to my plan. That way you’ll be less panic and be more confident to explore new places.

               Last but not list, Tawakkal to A’la Allah. Whenever you want to hit a new place, you must always remember that Allah is always watching us . Reading ayatul kursi also helps easing our feeling and IA, he’ll ease everything that we want to do. Not only when you want to hit a new place but yeah, basically everything you need to remember that He’s always there. That’s the reason why I get strength to basically be alone in whatever I do and handle tough situation. Although I myself is not a good person and sometimes I do a lot of complaining, but ibu always keeps on reminding me this thus right now, I want to remind you the same thing ibu always remind to me. Is to have FAITH in HIM.

I think that's it. I hope that we all can benefit from this post and IA, become less panic and more chill in handle all kind of situation. IA 


Nan

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Hi and Assalamualaikum. Jumaah mubarak peeps

So today it's not gonna be a review or just some confession . I just want to inform to everyone that I'll be ranting through blog again rather than Facebook. The first and foremost reason is because I want to build a career through membebel ( ranting k ranting ) and one of my 'guru' suggest that if I want to be serious about making a career, I need a professional platform that my future client can see and even I can make a profit through it.

Secondly, well I don't really know why but nowadays, I really like to write a really long post at Facebook ,or maybe ranting to be telling you the truth. But rest assure, I don't membawang or gossiping. I just like to give my opinion and yeah,having a so called professional discussion there and I hope that I can continue you to rant through my blog.

To brief you a bit, I like to talk about my journey ( selalunya solo ) , writing or expressing thoughts through poem,book review , or even some general knowledge about photography . NO politic,artist segment or even some weird topics. Oh yea,sometimes I like to reminiscent my old memories and talk about my past.

I'll try to make time to post twice every week ( Friday and Tuesday ). Why that date? Because Friday is the time I am mostly free and Tuesday because,I just like Tuesday no specific reason. And how about the time? Well I'm not gonna talk about time right now because I'm experimenting through the time right now. I'm still figuring out when or what is the best time so yeah .

So I guess,that's it (?). Aha,in case you didn't know how Han Hanan's look for 2019,well here it is


nan nineteen 

So yeah,that's it I guess. Hopefully I'll be able to engage more with you guys here :D

hanhanan
nanananananana is baaack

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Assalamualaikum, first and foremost this is my personal review about him and what I see him through his book and not being his friend and such.

Btw , I known this man since I was 11. At that time,I am still a girl who's into book and stuff. The rainbow troops was one of my earliest indonesian book and maan,little did I know that this book could change my entire life about life itself.

I could say that Andrea was a gifted person,and  I know that in life that we will have our ups and downs but reading his book is life his always been on the downs. He's living his life like idk,the lowest of the lowest. That's the only way I could describe himself.

Now, he's a winner for New York Book festival and his book sold out for a couple of million times ( inc the pirated ver ).  His film have been watch a couple of million times and now, he owns his own museum in his hometown,Belitong. How a book could make such an impact on a person like himself.

I didn't really know him, but how he talks through his books always fascinate me. He's not a poetry student but he can makes people cry and laugh with his own way of word.And magically , I could say that I'm in love with his books. How he makes me cry and laugh, how being poverty doesn't stop you for being whatever you want as long as you hustle through those thing with a strong heart and a damn hella lot of patience. How being Andrea actually is not easy , I myself think that I might not survive in his world . That shows how he lives his life sooo hard that I think his overnight success with The rainbow troops was really meant for him. He deserve all those success after what he went through in his life.

So yeah ,I think that's it . I know that he maybe heard this a lot of times but I can't stop myself from talking about him since right now he's all in my head ( blame it on KLIBF haha ). So if you have any other thoughts about him,you can share with me and let's agree to disagree

Han Hanan
nerd nerd nerd
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Nothing
....
Tonight, I feel nothing
I don't remember my purpose of life
I don't feel any feelings of content 
I don't feel remorse or sad
I feel nothing
Please,bear with me
If tonight I might shed into tears
If tonight, I might listen to some sappy song
nor being a total black out for minutes ( or even hours )
It's because,I feel nothing
and nothing could ever change
as long as this feeling does exist
and take up my whole life
please, bear with me
I beg you
.
nan
April 11th
2244 hours


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Assalamualaikum and hello there world
*hanhanan dah kenapa :P*

So this morning,aku baru setel edit video untuk KL Biennale so why not I share it with you guys. And kelainan aku buat ialah aku tak banyak gambar kot pasal aku malaihhh and nak test la kalau-kalau aku ni ada bakat ke tak :P ( which is obvs aku kena improve pasal aku tak dak shot yang best )

Last week aku pi KL Biennale iaitu salah satu art exhibition di Balai Seni Negara . Mulanya nak p hat Petronas tapi sebab aku tak confident nak p KLCC sorang-sorang so aku ditch that idea and instead aku p KL Biennale la.

KL Biennale ni secara ringkasnya dia ada 5 genre arts (?) iaitu manusia,spiritual,haiwan,warisan and satu lagi aku tak ingat . Aku of course bukan dak dak melukih ka apa tapi kat situ bukan ada melukih ja kot. Ada photography exhibition juga,abstract art . Dia ni random la pasal art ni subjective. Lukisan adik hang yang satu family tak faham pun boleh jadi art.

Dan aku tahu,selalunya aku speak english but I choose to do manglish because idk, maybe pasal aku rasa orang english boleh faham through my video rather than the talk (?). Plus aku taktau nak describe in english .


Kat luar balai negara ada PCLO Cafe kalau ada nak minum-minum santai dan ada bas yang jual cenderamata BSN :P ( Balai Seni Negara k )

Pameran ni sampai 31 hb so kalau korang ada masa memang aku mengalu-alukan la korang pergi sana,cari ilham buat FYP,and manatau nanti arts korang jadi pameran gak.

Pameran ni ambil masa dalam 2 jam setengah gak nak habis tawaf semua kawasan. Kalau yang jenis meneliti semua tu maybe lebih pasal aku tengok yang mana aku berkenan ja macam dalam video aku tunjuk nanti dekat penghujung.

Aku rasa facilities dia pun best sebab ada lift kalau korang penat men tawaf. Ada tandas cuma surau je la slack sebab surau dia jauuuuh dekat pejabat pentadbiran tak silap. Dan diorang ada servis lokar percuma kalau korang bawa emas ke berlian ke ( ko nak buka kedai ke eh ehh ). Dan jangan lupa bawa air pasal nanti korang letih gila mentawaf . Tapi bagi aku berbaloi bagi pencinta seni pasal arts yang display bagi aku bertaraf antarabangsa boh. Dah tu sebab nama dia Biennale.

Biennale :, Italian for "biennial" or "every other year", is any event that happens every two years. It is most commonly used within the art world to describe large-scale international contemporary art exhibitions.]


Haa itu je kot,kalau tak faham faham juga boleh la pergi exhibition tu and check sendiri :D.K Assalamualaikum

HanHanan
dia pergi pasal nak cari idea fyp je pun :P
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Salam alaik,
k I know that I've been neglecting this bored blog but hey what to expect? She only writes when she's bored :P

So last week is my bro's birthday and I didn't get a chance to wish him publicly :P so yeah what a way to wish him here I guess. Plus he should be happy he get a chance to be featured in my blog :P

So Ammar's turned 20 on 18th January so there's not much *ehem yeke* so to Ammar,I'll be sending you visual picture that describe what I want to say to you k :D.


Starts with some cover pic :P

I know,you must not believe yourself that you turn 20 aite. Well just
face the fact that you're OLD enough k

And yeah this may make you bored but hey,banguuuuun k 


For the past month,you've been very HARDWORKING dude
who has been FORCED by ME and ibu plus the doctor to get on the
wheels . I know ,every morning is like hell to you because 
morning means that you have to get on the wheels and bath *the water
is lukewarm btw :P *

And eating by yourself? lol in the eating hall not ON 
your bed? Well you must be feeling hell. LOL 
Well see that pic? you know how much
we have to FORCE you to eat since you're very picky and
you refuse to eat by yourself *manja*

 And after that.you have to go to your SCHOOL
and do such things just like inside the picture :P.At first,of
course you enjoy it very well

But after that? LOL look at how you glance at abang 
Wan. You literally want to eat him ehhh.

And make others suffer because you refuse to cooperate with us.
Wow,what a nice brother -_-.

But yeah,in the end of the day we still treat you to
eat at the cafe where you'll pick on our foods because 
you don't have money :P. Well sometimes though :P

Well look at this picture,how that face react when
ibu's taking some of your foods. But can't blame
you either because ibu likes to take our foods a LOT.
Maybe you inherit her personality :P

So yeah, I hope that you'll keep on going. Stay on
the same pace and never look back. That's the worst thing
you do  with your life. LOOKING back and keeps on 
wandering about the past.
I think,that's it. I know it not some fancy letters or whatever
but hey,it's the best I can write since I don't do
emotional or soapy letters. I'm no making a soap
opera here dude.

And I know,why black and white? Well because it's our past that we cherish together at HRC and I just think colors aren't meant for you LOL. Black and white conveys the meaning better. Anyway have a nice day dude

And please be this strong . Because I know that you are capable
enough to have miracles as long as you believe in HIM
and yourself

HanHanan
Yes this is visual post :D
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Heyya ,yeah I know that I didn’t have any spare time to updating my blog. Plus I think this is the only time I’ve been really bored and idk man, probably the only time I get to be bored until I’ll be busy as bee for my final.

You know, I feel kinda different . I feel that I’m getting OLD. It’s not that I’m not enjoying my moment but hmm, I think maybe I feel a bit older in terms of age and yeah, my year ( I mean, MONTH ) left in college.

During the holiday, I spend myself with my brother in the hospital, went to Arts and Lights Festival, went to Kelantan alone for a workshop, learn to pick a right clothes to my brothers and …. Having a nice chats with my ibu.

Those simple thing like waking up 5 in the morning, bathing him, feeding him, yell, scold, mad, even fighting with him seems like a nice one ( even though those days seems hellish to me when I think about it more XD ).

 I know, maybe one day I’ll not see him often like I used to, maybe I’ll be busy with my life, probably went home during holidays only. But hey, even right now I’m not going home unless it’s school or public holiday. But I don’t know if I’ll get a chance to go home  this year. Everything seems busy and I probably feel scared a bit.

Like how will my FYP goes ? how will I do in my internship, how’s the new college. Yeah all those things seems making me feel a bit worried.

But in 2018, I also comes with a wishlist (?) . I hope I’ll never doubt myself or god’s plan. I have to trust Him. I have to. Because He’s the one who’s creating me so He knows me well than I do.
I remember this quote

“ When in doubt , Trust God’s plan “

That’s what I want to put in my heart and mind. Trust HIM Han Hanan. And hopefully He’ll show me HIS way of solving my problems. InsyaAllah.

Hopefully we’ll start 2018 with a new intentions everyday and to HanHanan, TRUST HIS PLAN.

HanHanan


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I’ve been thinking about it this morning . I rarely talk about my first love except in my real life . I may seems fine but idk man, when I’m watching the drama ( Because this is my first love ), my heart waver a bit . For me, I don’t want him to marry me or idk maybe love me (?). But at the same time , my heart seems to be searching for him even though it’s been like 5 years (?) since we meet . It makes me remember my memories about him. Even the smallest thing about him, I value it soo much.

When I read the poem that contain inside the Because This is My First Love drama, it kinda struck to me. I can’t seem to be telling myself the truth . I lie occasionally , telling myself that it’s okay, you have move on and such.

A Visitor

Meeting someone in life is
Actually something that’s astonishing

That’s because he brings himself
With the past , present and his future

That’s because someone’s
Whole’s life is coming alone

The heart is fragile

Therefore , it might have been broken.

The heart is coming, too ….

Jeon Hyeon Jeong ( 2009 )

I cry while writing the poem.  Maybe I can’t seem to relate much but somehow, he’s a VISITOR in my heart. And he’s been staying there quite a while. I mean , a really loooong time .

And listening for the ost was also a sad one. It feels like it relays what I want to say to him … at least .

Stay with me like this without a sound
As if we’re quietly together by fate

The lyric speaks for me. And I end up this tangle up, unfinished post with a word of mine .

Sun and You

Lately , I’ve been observing the sun
And I end up falling in love with it.

Because it reminds me of you

…

Both of you makes me smile, and feel warm.

-        Han Hanan

She’s a bad poet. And definitely not a good writer of her own word .
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 College's holiday is getting near and somehow, I can't wait to have my bro here, in Selangor.

He'll having his therapy at Cheras Rehabilitation Center and I can't wait for him to finally have fun,talk and improving himself.

 You know,the past few years was a bleak years for our family. I need to take my bro's position as an eldest child ( and the responsibility came with it too ), I am no longer a big daddy's girl, no longer an adik or whatever you call. I thought myself to think like a sister. His needs is my priority and I have to think of others before myself. 

For the first time, Ibu will respond to Ammar's need first before me. It happens many times, whether I'm at home or in a phone call with her. Abah will ask me what Ammar's want first instead of me ( usually food ) and abah always follow Ammar's command. If Ammar want to go to the park,they'll go ,if he doesn't then yeah we'll stay at home,watching Ammar's fav channel.

At first, it was hard for me to adjust ( and I'm still,now) but I told myself that Ammar endure the same thing when he was  big brother. I try to comfort myself when mum's said that Ammar needs her and I try to stay strong despite I'm full of tears .

It's weird but yeah, from a childish crybaby HanHanan,I become an independent girl who'll have to face everything alone, by MYSELF.

I can't complain,grunt,angry,or yeah do something beside than being PATIENCE. Because Ammar's condition is worser than me. He can't TALK, he can't MOVE , he's being given the biggest test by HIM. The All Merciful.

I owe him my new self. Because of him, I learn to be patience,to be strong,to be an independent girl, I LEARN EVERYTHING THROUGH HIM. 

So for that,here's a drawing of you Ammar. I can't draw you so I ask my friend to do this. I hope that this picture will remind you your old self. How you're such a good looking Ammar that everyone use to like ( and annoy by your annoying behavior ), this drawing will motivate and strengthen yourself to become better than your old self.Because dude,you're an awesome one. You just have to be confident in whatever you do man!


* aku bayo kot, kalau tak suka refund 2x ganda ehhh *

HanHanan
your adik,forever and always lah


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Being 18 was the most difficult phase I've ever been. Sometimes,I would listen to some kpop song and sometimes I prefer some indie band over a loud beats.

I also struggle with finding and searching the meaning of true happiness. I mean,what's the point of being rich and fab if you didn't find what you're looking for. And that's: true happiness.

At first,I thought being happy requires me to have a lots of friends. Suddenly I realized,then I must be unhappy because I don't have a large group of friends. But I thought to myself " But I feel full and not empty,why? I don't have lots of friends though "hmmm....

This is  when I start to find happiness in friend. I think that if I don't talk to friend at least once a day,I am not happy. I start defining my own happiness based on my relationship with friends.

And that's the worst mistake I've ever done in my 18 ( or maybe in my teen days )

But yeah, I started to get back on my track,knowing what's my purpose of life and happiness. In the end,I found what I want. Alhamdulillah *praise be to Allah*. Although I'm not fully feel full or idk,okay? ,at least I feel some kind of idk calm and yeah, I am myself again.

You know,you started to be yourself when you didn't depend on others for your happiness. And that's what I mostly do to myself right now and hopefully in my next life too * if there is a next life :P *.

I hang out less with people,and more with camera. I take joy in every time I click that shutter,and feel that kind of awesomeness and cool when my picture turns out to be better (?) and good  and if it's not, I'll come back again and again to try to take that shots until I feel like " Yesss I got this shot".

I feel joy when people comment and also critique my photos. I feel thrill when I'm thinking that I'm gonna be on the next adventure. I feel...ME (?).

So for the one who's still searching for happiness or something similar, find it in yourself. Search for it deeply and yes, ask HIM. Ask Allah for eternal happiness. Because that's what we as a muslim need to have . ETERNAL HAPPINESS.

Some scholar said " If you want eternal happiness,you also must be strong to face some tribulation,sweat,blood or even tears." and I hope you guys can face all of those tribulations,problems and possibly your fear into finding your happiness.

I may found mine,but I know it's not temporary. Although it's not,at least I found reasons to live,or reasons to be happy. Which is to be grateful for small things that happen :).

So yeah,that's it. I hope that the people who'll be watching this would found what you're looking for. Although it might takes some time,but please don't feel despair . For we belong to Him and to Him we will return.

HanHanan
I may not be the happiest person you've ever known but still,I'm grateful for small things that He give :)
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HanHanan , a self called writer

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