Hi and Assalamualaikum,
To be frank,yesterday wasn't the day I was looking forward to. In fact, I've got a mixed feelings about it so I guess maybe to let go of this feeling is to just pour it all out here .

Yesterday, me and my friend went somewhere for a sleep ( yes,somewhere ) and I  bring the tripod with me because I've got a class today. The journey took almost 1 hour from Bukit Jalil to our place. And when we arrived, I'm pretty much shocked to see that a tripod equipment ( the camera handler *I call it that*) was missing. I search frantically and I said to her that I'll be going to Bukit Jalil back to grab the handler .

It was hectic since it was an office hour,to make things worst is I forgot to bring my home key and my friend had to ride another train to give the key. In the end, I lost the handler and I need the tripod ASAP .Like literally ASAP.

But it was the eve of independence day, most of the camera shop are closed so what's the other option beside than idk,going to the class with only a camera in my bag and not with the tripod or just ditch the class then. I was thinking to do either one of them. I was tired, helpless and feel idk, I AM SUCK. Yeah that's what I'm feeling right now. I thought if only I didn't messed this up, IF ONLY.IF ONLY.IF ONLY . Those are the words that keep lingering in my mind. I tried not to shed a tear in front of my friend. I'm not the one who'll be frantically rampaged about those stuff. I tried to solve things calmly,at least.

I cried to The Almighty, how I feel incredibly tired. How I feel all of my effort are useless. How Idk,maybe those feeling were mixed up inside my head and right now I just want to escape from those feeling. I don't know man,maybe I just want to ... cry on someone's shoulder. Probably.

This morning, I woke up a bit late and yea I did my morning walk,even though I did want to ditch the class, idk why I didn't. In the end,I did went to the class and surprisingly there's no SUNRISE this morning. It was all cloudy .

I wonder why. It supposed to be sunny actually (based on the weather) but entahla. At that moment, I did feel that God want to console me. Probably because I'll be crying to see one but I ain't capable of capturing em. Probably,who knows.

Somehow, after all those tribulations that I'm going through, I can't help but feeling tired. Extremely TIRED. But I don't feel the satisfaction at all. Probably because I can't help but feeling that I am suck. I'm probably am.

But somehow, I just hope that I'll appreciate myself more. For being a tough being,for not giving up on this . For be able to stay calm. I hope I don't push myself bad enough. Whatever you do,just keep going. You may not be able to do things as you please but you're not bad enough, you are quite good. You'll be good. You just had to had a guts not to push hard on yourself. Please don't

Anyway, was yesterday's adventure,was it worth? IDK Man, I don't feel any sense of satisfaction right now. Nothing comes through my mind. I just hope that HE'll forgive me, for pushing myself too hard and also for asking Him too many questions. I just hope He does.

Anyway, that's it for today. Happy independence day. Celebrate it with modesty.

HanHanan
probably will be strolling along KL . Now who's with me?