College's holiday is getting near and somehow, I can't wait to have my bro here, in Selangor.
He'll having his therapy at Cheras Rehabilitation Center and I can't wait for him to finally have fun,talk and improving himself.
You know,the past few years was a bleak years for our family. I need to take my bro's position as an eldest child ( and the responsibility came with it too ), I am no longer a big daddy's girl, no longer an adik or whatever you call. I thought myself to think like a sister. His needs is my priority and I have to think of others before myself.
For the first time, Ibu will respond to Ammar's need first before me. It happens many times, whether I'm at home or in a phone call with her. Abah will ask me what Ammar's want first instead of me ( usually food ) and abah always follow Ammar's command. If Ammar want to go to the park,they'll go ,if he doesn't then yeah we'll stay at home,watching Ammar's fav channel.
At first, it was hard for me to adjust ( and I'm still,now) but I told myself that Ammar endure the same thing when he was big brother. I try to comfort myself when mum's said that Ammar needs her and I try to stay strong despite I'm full of tears .
It's weird but yeah, from a childish crybaby HanHanan,I become an independent girl who'll have to face everything alone, by MYSELF.
I can't complain,grunt,angry,or yeah do something beside than being PATIENCE. Because Ammar's condition is worser than me. He can't TALK, he can't MOVE , he's being given the biggest test by HIM. The All Merciful.
I owe him my new self. Because of him, I learn to be patience,to be strong,to be an independent girl, I LEARN EVERYTHING THROUGH HIM.
So for that,here's a drawing of you Ammar. I can't draw you so I ask my friend to do this. I hope that this picture will remind you your old self. How you're such a good looking Ammar that everyone use to like ( and annoy by your annoying behavior ), this drawing will motivate and strengthen yourself to become better than your old self.Because dude,you're an awesome one. You just have to be confident in whatever you do man!
* aku bayo kot, kalau tak suka refund 2x ganda ehhh *
HanHanan
your adik,forever and always lah
