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hang rasa ??

 Assalamualaikum and hey a good night to all of you. Masa aku tulis ni,aku dalam keadaan barai pasal esok presentation dan mata aku naik kuyu jadi aku saja tulis dalam bahasa untuk mengelakkan aku merapu masa menulis .

Btw,tajuk tu memang antara soalan hot yang aku selalu dapat. And tbh,aku pun sampai sekarang takleh figure out amende aku buat ni weh. Serious kot,aku rasa macam aku diawang awangan kot. Dah nak masuk 4 tahun still aku was-was tentang bendalah apa aku amik ni.

Nak dijadikan cerita, aku asalnya nak buat vlog tajuk Common Question orang tanya pasal K Academy,tapi pasal aku malaih nak membebel jadi aku decide untuk menulis. Dan jawapan diatas persoalan anda ialah

Aku buat VFX ( sebutan ialah vi ef ex ). 

Apa itu VFX? Haaa VFX ni nama melayu dia kesan khas visual. Kadang aku malaih nak sembang panjang aku akan cakap "ala yang buat api muncul tu" padahal buat api dalam 2% je weh, selebihnya aku buat apa pun taktau.

Bila masuk sini,expectation orang of course la aku amik bidang nyanyian dan lakonan. Tapi dia ni  tau dak yang suara aku ni off pitch dan lakonan aku kayu. Hareyy betul kalau aku dapat masuk bidang tu. Aku tukar nama aku jadi Hanan Delicious la gitu ( perghh macam nama kedai bakery ). 

Kerja VFX ni merangkumi rotoscope,masking,compositing,key framing dan ahh macam macam la.Basically kitorang ni budak belakang tabir je. Nama pun muncul dekat credit dah nak habis je weh. Tapi still bangga la,tanpa kitorang manader kau nampak efek efek marvelous tu.

Kalau sembang VFX ni, antara syarikat filming dekat Malaysia yang famous ialah Viper Studio ,KRU Studio dan Pinewood Iskandar dekat Johor tu. Yang lain ada je cuma biasa biasa la tapi payah woi vfx ni .

Aku rasa kalau kau cakap apa sebenarnya aku buat dekat sini ialah berkemungkinan aku nangis je weh haha.Pasal mengenangkan idea yang tak kunjung tiba,skill yang kelaut dan diri yang sebenarnya tak berapa minat. Tapi life is life,at least aku kena sudahkan benda yang aku dah mula kan?

Jadi,kat atas tu gambar green screen yang aku probably kena tracking,keylight dll lagi la.Kerja nampak mudah tapi kalau hang terror blending memang superb la weh orang ingat betul. Tapi nak jadikan blending macam real tu yang makan masa.Ada masa laptop hang,ada masa blue screen,ada masa black screen tak kesudah pun ada. Ada sekali aku render 3d dalam 5 saat je makan 1 minggu tak tutup laptop last-last minggu depan laptop tu arwah KO weh.LOL laptop pun giveup dengan vfx  apatah lagi aku yang hamba Tuhan bukan manusia ni (apa kaitan?)

So konklusinya apa yang hang buat ni nan? jawapanya ialah aku pun still figure it out sampai sekarang. Tapi at least jawapan vfx tu pun dah okay kot. KOT la kan lol.

So anyway,aku kena sambung balik buat offline editing pasal esok aku ada presentation.Doakan aku lulus tak gugup tak nangis insyaAllah

sekian syarahan malam ini

nan
first time berbahasa di sini,selalu berspeaking 

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my friend. not a demon. but as a zombie XD


Right now, I'm currently hear a song entitled Demon by Imagine Dragon. And as I am listen to it, I can't help but being stuck into one of their verse which is


It's where my demons hide

I keep thinking about that one verse and as I ponder into it, I keep thinking about my own 'demon'. Well, we all have a demon in ourselves right? So how can you maintain it from be known to others? How can one hide their demon? How?

I used to have a demon that I kept it tight. And one day, that demon broke the 'place' where I kept it hidden. I remember at that moment, I know that I'm not Hanan that people used to know. Even I myself don't recognize myself. I probably hallucinated myself,thinking that I am the 'real' Hanan while in fact, I am not.

I am a demon. And that demon is myself.

I struggled to fight with myself. Day by day it's all or nothing . I keep being a demon until one day,people manage to kept hold of me,and that moment turns me into the new me. They manage to kept the demon shut, and at that time I am so lost. I lost

That feeling of lost makes me completely turns into Him. And  yeah, with His guidance, I manage to turn myself into a better me. Not a new me. A better me.

And that demon? Well it's still there. Waiting for the day to escape from its 'room' again. And I know,sometimes I lose my battle with my it,but most of the time I win. I manage to control the demon. I manage to control it from making people hurts,making mum's cry,making dad's about to lose control

And from making myself an uncontrollable demon. That kind of demon who'll turn myself into not whom I suppose to be.

So yeah, let me know if you had a 'demon'in yourself ( which I know we all have ) and how you manage to keep it hidden or at least,not being able to lose your control over it.

hanhanan
a human .
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'difficult road lead us to the beautiful destination? well not all :P'

4 years almost passed and this year will mark my last year studying at K’s college. I couldn’t believe it myself when I first started out at this college. I mean, I never parted sooooooo far away from abah,ibu and especially my bro. Usually, we’ll attended the same school for as long as we were born so being separated does makes  a lot of difference .

I remember my first ‘mehnah’ ( test ) when I first came to the college. My uncle’s car broke down, my mum couldn’t make it ( she needs to take care of my bro ) and… I missed her a lot !. I had a hard time to adjusted myself with the new routine . To make it worse, I never been to Cyberjaya. I never knew what it was to live there. What it Putrajaya Sentral ? Where can I go and buy my junks? How to go to KLIA and so on .

               It took me around 1 year that I can become comfortable going out by myself. Usually, my aunt will accompany me but I thought that it must be hard on her so I decided to be independent…for the first time in my life. Like really, INDEPENDENT .


alone

               I learn to go to the KLIA by taking the KLIA express. I learn to ASK PEOPLE when I don’t know certain roads . I learn to buy clothes by myself without having mum to judge or idk maybe compliment me. I learn to accepted that it’s OKAY to be alone. And most of all, I learn to be independent with Allah. Our protector .

               I remember that I used to freaked out whenever I get on the wrong bus or station. I remember that I used to almost cried when the lane to check in is sooo freaking long ( and then I baru tahu ada self check in lol ). I remember that I used to be scared of big city, KLIA2 and lots of people ( actually right now I still does but I do a lot of tawakkal to a’la Allah ) .

               And it all because whenever I hit a hard road, I always thought that nothing is more difficult than taking care of my bro. Because taking care of him needs a lot of mental and physical strength that I find it exhausting to do so. I’m not lying that until now, mum and me sometimes argue a  lot because we’re so damn tired to take care of my bro. I’m not going to fake it and do some inspiration post like “ My brother gives me strength yada yada “. I’m telling you the truth that it’s not OKAY and my brother take away more of my strength than giving it XD. But because of his  condition that makes me able to become stronger and able to independent . So he does gives a bit of strength, but also takes a lot from it (give and take aha ).

               Next thing is don’t be panic.  I remember last 2 night, I called my mum and said “ Ibu, Hanan takdi g Wangsa Maju lepah gi klinik ( Ibu, Hanan goes to Wangsa Maju after went to the clinic ) and my mum was “freeaaaak oooout’ you know. Like “ bertuah anak ibu (my lucky daughter *lol direct translate*) . My mum was freaked out because 1. I never went thaaaat far and 2. I’m going alone . So rest assure nothing happened alhamdulillah although I do get a bit panicked but I always think that I went to this place lillahita’ala so I hope that Allah will protected me InsyaAllah. I tried not to think hard and just ‘redah je la’. BUT before I redah je la,I always checked out that location , I don’t simply redah je la and don’t know where to go okay. I had my own PLAN and I went to that place according to my plan. That way you’ll be less panic and be more confident to explore new places.

               Last but not list, Tawakkal to A’la Allah. Whenever you want to hit a new place, you must always remember that Allah is always watching us . Reading ayatul kursi also helps easing our feeling and IA, he’ll ease everything that we want to do. Not only when you want to hit a new place but yeah, basically everything you need to remember that He’s always there. That’s the reason why I get strength to basically be alone in whatever I do and handle tough situation. Although I myself is not a good person and sometimes I do a lot of complaining, but ibu always keeps on reminding me this thus right now, I want to remind you the same thing ibu always remind to me. Is to have FAITH in HIM.

I think that's it. I hope that we all can benefit from this post and IA, become less panic and more chill in handle all kind of situation. IA 


Nan

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Hi and Assalamualaikum. Jumaah mubarak peeps

So today it's not gonna be a review or just some confession . I just want to inform to everyone that I'll be ranting through blog again rather than Facebook. The first and foremost reason is because I want to build a career through membebel ( ranting k ranting ) and one of my 'guru' suggest that if I want to be serious about making a career, I need a professional platform that my future client can see and even I can make a profit through it.

Secondly, well I don't really know why but nowadays, I really like to write a really long post at Facebook ,or maybe ranting to be telling you the truth. But rest assure, I don't membawang or gossiping. I just like to give my opinion and yeah,having a so called professional discussion there and I hope that I can continue you to rant through my blog.

To brief you a bit, I like to talk about my journey ( selalunya solo ) , writing or expressing thoughts through poem,book review , or even some general knowledge about photography . NO politic,artist segment or even some weird topics. Oh yea,sometimes I like to reminiscent my old memories and talk about my past.

I'll try to make time to post twice every week ( Friday and Tuesday ). Why that date? Because Friday is the time I am mostly free and Tuesday because,I just like Tuesday no specific reason. And how about the time? Well I'm not gonna talk about time right now because I'm experimenting through the time right now. I'm still figuring out when or what is the best time so yeah .

So I guess,that's it (?). Aha,in case you didn't know how Han Hanan's look for 2019,well here it is


nan nineteen 

So yeah,that's it I guess. Hopefully I'll be able to engage more with you guys here :D

hanhanan
nanananananana is baaack

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HanHanan , a self called writer

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